There. I have said it; “fat”… a simple three-letter word, yet carries so much. Who would think that such a single little word could cause so much hurt, shame and destruction, but it can. Just like a tiny pebble that is tossed into the water, who really knows the disturbance it may cause.
I never used the word “fat” unless it was to describe something to do with cooking or baking. I avoided the word. The term “fat” was negative to me for I had felt its sting many times when being teased when growing up.
Losing weight did not lose this “fat head”. Even after losing 396 pounds, I still felt “fat”. I can remember folding up my clothes one day and as I held up a pair of large sleep pants, I held them up in disbelief, “OMG” I said. Immediately I broke down into convulsing tears, “OMG these are mine”. It is a strange out of body feeling when your mind does not connect to your body. I needed to address my “fat head”.
I have come to realize that a lobotomy was out of the question lol, so I had to examine every facet of my past so it wouldn’t spill into my present and affect my future. It is a lot of hard work.
Healing from past mental history can play a major factor in the success of weight loss. It is not just diet and exercise alone. Your mind, body and spirit must be in harmony for success.
So stay tuned… click to enter the ramblings from my “fat head”.
