In thinking of my Papa this Father’s Day, I remember all the good memories and I smile.
When I think how I am older now than what my Dad was when he passed on, like wow. He was 53 when he left this earth. So young. Life is so full of unfair blows and uncertainties. But that’s life.
I love my Dad, though I can honestly say, “I love you” was rarely said growing up in our home. When I found out my Dad was terminal, I was scared that I’d never get the words out of me, so I wrote him a letter and made sure he knew how much I loved him.
Amazing how fear in my life dominated so much. What was I afraid of?
I suppose in not hearing it, I questioned if I was loved. Certainly I drew conclusions in my head from things that happened in a warped way, to believe I was unloved. I looked outside of myself to validate that love many times.
Not feeling I had a voice after the many times feeling shut down, I kept everything deep inside. I was a tangled mess. The fear of rejection was just too painful to add to my smoldering cauldron, so I remained silent.
After 57 years of finally getting to know me and working on the things that have caused me harm, I tell my Papa quite often how I love and miss him.
If there is anything I can pass on this Father’s day; it would be “never let fear hold you back from telling your Dad you love him.”
“Happy Heavenly Father’s Day Papa… I love you and miss you!”
I leave you with this poem…